Jaime
Escalante, the idealized protagonist in the famous teacher-movie “Stand and
Deliver” was my hero. I wanted to be just like him: funny, crazy, demanding,
not afraid to push a kid to the wall if he acted up.
to teach; so was I. After seven years of seeing public education from diverse
angles, I am convinced that schools are not meant for good teachers, but rather
quiet teachers who will be good to their employers and play nice with students
who need anything but.
In an autistic
class, I threw one student out after his repeated tantrums, which minimized his
impact and extinguished the behavior – and all against school policy. When another
staff member call a student a “Nigger”, I told him to leave, which prompted false
reports against me followed by a forced dismissal.
I
student-taught twice. I failed miserably the first time because I was trying to
be “Teacher” on my own. The poor mentoring and lack of direction from my
advisor did not help.
Los Angeles, I taught French to functionally illiterate English Language
Learners. In an effort to maintain discipline, I transformed into the “Psycho
French Teacher”, refusing to tolerate disrespect or administrative neglect. The
principal remembered me, though not fondly, as he shouted me down for inciting “a
line of parents” at his door. I quit that job, convinced that a school which supported
me was still out there.
I taught
in wealthier communities, hoping for more respect and higher student morale. Instead, I met the political power of parents
intimidating administrators, who undermine teachers. After one month, I quit
altogether, harassed and burned out from vacuous, entitled students, uncouth
colleagues, and a too-long commute.
Substitute
teaching was easier: no papers to grade, no parent conferences, no test scores.
I would discipline students without having to face them the next day. Sometimes
I earned a stipend for covering extra classes, sometimes I got written up for
allegedly intimidating students (certainly) or humiliating staff (as if!). I have
covered classrooms all over the county, and the common denominator is boredom,
waste, stupidity, disrespect, or downright cluelessness. Not just for me, but for
the students who suffer through curriculum designed to boost test scores, not
the students’ potential.
I even
found my way into a local charter school, with state-of-the-art facilities,
frequent field trips, and all the resources I needed. The pressure was on,
though, to get the kids’ grades up, and with a school shifting in the chaos of
mixed missions, unclear visions, and my growing discontent with the calling of
educator, I quit that job, traumatized by shifting bell-schedules, incompetent counselors,
and inattentive leadership.
was really cut out for this profession. I had the credential, the support from
many students, parents, colleagues, but I had not prospered on the inside, at
least to decide.
Long-term substitute teaching in another district
confirmed my worst fears about the sorry state of public education today. From Students’
taunting and cursing to inept leadership, race-baiting parents and unclear
goals, I was in over my head, but I kept trying, despite the common refrain of “Did
you get fired yet?”
in America”. Perhaps I qualify as one of the worst, a casualty of trying to be
good in a system of mediocrity, failure, and a cringing lack of oversight. Teaching is a matter of the heart, not the
head, a profession for the man who knows what he wants, not still wanting to
know who he is.