Is there something wrong with being single?
Should Christians rush into marriage?
Should Christians rush into marriage?
In many churches, the message
from elders, pastors, and even (for singles) our friends and family suggest
that if you are single, it’s a status that needs to change. I have heard this
question, to myself as well as to others: “Why aren’t you married yet? Pastors like Pastor John Hagee have
exhorted their congregation bluntly: "Get Married!" He even suggested
that individuals in the Bible who remained unmarried did so because they were
prepared for martyrdom. Even Pastor Joseph Prince of New Creation Church has
shared that the married life is better.
from elders, pastors, and even (for singles) our friends and family suggest
that if you are single, it’s a status that needs to change. I have heard this
question, to myself as well as to others: “Why aren’t you married yet? Pastors like Pastor John Hagee have
exhorted their congregation bluntly: "Get Married!" He even suggested
that individuals in the Bible who remained unmarried did so because they were
prepared for martyrdom. Even Pastor Joseph Prince of New Creation Church has
shared that the married life is better.
Even mainstream conservative pundits like
Dennis Prager emphasize marriage, describing the institution as a necessary and
proper rite of passage, or the best way for men to maximize their manhood,
income, and social status.
Dennis Prager emphasize marriage, describing the institution as a necessary and
proper rite of passage, or the best way for men to maximize their manhood,
income, and social status.
True, married people live longer, make more money, etc. However, these are
spurious correlations. Marriage does not automatically produce these results. This
“marriage makes you better” argument is a "post hoc, propter hoc"
fallacy. A work ethic, a sense of responsibility, a diligent outlook for the
good of others besides oneself define manhood, or more importantly adulthood.
Employers hire married people because they
display more consistency and integrity in their work, perhaps. Men (and women)
can have different reasons for earning more money besides the rearing of
children. Responsible people are more likely to get married, as opposed to
marriage makes people more responsible. Some people like business, like
working; other people are dedicated to other causes which require more funding.
These benefits are not exclusive to marriage!
display more consistency and integrity in their work, perhaps. Men (and women)
can have different reasons for earning more money besides the rearing of
children. Responsible people are more likely to get married, as opposed to
marriage makes people more responsible. Some people like business, like
working; other people are dedicated to other causes which require more funding.
These benefits are not exclusive to marriage!
“But even the Bible calls marriage a
blessing—Won’t I miss out?”
blessing—Won’t I miss out?”
![]("https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_L427MrV0OA/XETrDAJLlwI/AAAAAAABVuQ/RhPyFU2LjbQhMgoB8YxloPWaAAcG5cG6wCLcBGAs/s1600/Proverbs-18-22.jpg")
The Bible does consider married life blessed:
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord."
(Proverbs 18:22)
(Proverbs 18:22)
And also:
"Lo, children are an heritage of the
LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." (Psalm 127:3)
LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." (Psalm 127:3)
Does that mean if I don’t get married, I won’t find a good thing or obtain
favor?
Not at all! Proverbs identifies other ways in which people obtain favor:
"Blessed is the man that heareth me
[Wisdom, a type of Christ appearing in the Old Testament], watching daily at my
gates, waiting at the posts of my doors.
[Wisdom, a type of Christ appearing in the Old Testament], watching daily at my
gates, waiting at the posts of my doors.
"For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the
LORD." (Proverbs 8: 34-35)
Favor and reward have everything to do with God, not with marriage. The first
mention of "reward" appears in Genesis:
"After these things the word of the LORD
came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy
exceeding great reward." (Genesis 15:1)
came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy
exceeding great reward." (Genesis 15:1)
Indeed, children are a heritage from the Lord, but all of us can receive all
blessings through our spiritual inheritance in Christ Jesus:
"In righteousness, you shall be established … this is the heritage
of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of Me" (Isaiah 54:
14,17)
This pronouncement should settle the matter:
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us
with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ”
We obtain favor, life, all other good things because of Jesus!
Finally, what does the Bible say to singles and about the single life? Is there
something wrong with not being married?
In Genesis, God commanded Adam and Eve, then Noah and his family to "be
fruitful and multiply.”
This exhortation occurs under the Old Covenant. Today, we live under the New
Covenant.
Let’s consider what the New Testament shares on the matter of marriage or the
single life.
In Matthew 19:10-12, Jesus relates that there are those who choose not to marry
for the Kingdom of Heaven’s sake. Many believers who have received the Kingdom
of Heaven (righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost Romans 14:17) are
content and see no need to marry (and there is no need to castrate oneself, so
take it easy!)
The Apostle Paul’s statements to the
Corinthian Church this matter are the most informative:
Corinthian Church this matter are the most informative:
“It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”
How about that? Yet “good” in the King James Version is not adequate. The
Original Greek has kalos, which means “noble,
beautiful, inspiring!”
Paul also writes:
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper
gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that." (1
Corinthians 7:7)
Paul preferred the single life. But it was his preference, not God's commande.
Thee statement “It is good for a man not to touch a woman” – that is from God!
What are the benefits of single status,
according to Paul?
according to Paul?
"But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for
the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is
married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his
wife." (1 Corinthians 7:32-33)
![]("https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2gdYPsiabo4/XETrsG99chI/AAAAAAABVuY/iJZGZaoELogdJHIbirUfldVlqexw2_hrACLcBGAs/s1600/1%2BCorinthians%2B7_22.jpg")
Married people will have more burdens, more
concerns to consider in their lives. Many people need to recognize this when
going into marriage. No matter what standards the world has laid out (or
rather, abandoned), marriage is a full-on commitment for life. Those demands
will change a person’s status, outlook, and outcomes for good.
concerns to consider in their lives. Many people need to recognize this when
going into marriage. No matter what standards the world has laid out (or
rather, abandoned), marriage is a full-on commitment for life. Those demands
will change a person’s status, outlook, and outcomes for good.
“And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you,
but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without
distraction." (1 Corinthians 7:35)
In fact, Paul considered the single life better!
“He that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in
marriage doeth better.” (1 Corinthians 7:38)
Our standard on the single life must be God’s Word, not preachers’ sermons or
pundits’ articles. So, why is it that so many pastors, preachers, churches, and
teachers are promoting the message to their congregations that singles should
get married?
Stay tuned for the next article.