To the City Leaders of Los Angeles:
My name is Carry, and I am a plastic bag. I am writing this
piece on behalf of all my polyurethane brothers and sisters who fear for their
future.
piece on behalf of all my polyurethane brothers and sisters who fear for their
future.
In my many years as a makeshift toilet for pets on their
daily walks, a cheap trashcan for college dorm rooms and the front seats of
cars, and even as a quick and ready lunch sack for workers in a rush, I have
brought peace and convenience to many Southern California residents. I and my
millions of twin brothers and sisters have provided an ample and praiseworthy
service to the people of Los Angeles, too.
daily walks, a cheap trashcan for college dorm rooms and the front seats of
cars, and even as a quick and ready lunch sack for workers in a rush, I have
brought peace and convenience to many Southern California residents. I and my
millions of twin brothers and sisters have provided an ample and praiseworthy
service to the people of Los Angeles, too.
Apparently, notorious hatemongering groups have disseminated
salacious untruths about me and my plastic bag brethren. Implicating us in the polluting
of the streets and desecration of the oceans, environmental activists have
unjustly discriminated against us, when the city and the state should be
arresting those who abandon us on beaches, in gutters, and along state
highways. I cannot think of a more glaring example of “blaming the victim” than
the LA City Council’s move to ban me and my kind from their city limits.
salacious untruths about me and my plastic bag brethren. Implicating us in the polluting
of the streets and desecration of the oceans, environmental activists have
unjustly discriminated against us, when the city and the state should be
arresting those who abandon us on beaches, in gutters, and along state
highways. I cannot think of a more glaring example of “blaming the victim” than
the LA City Council’s move to ban me and my kind from their city limits.
I am dismay, disappointed, and outright alarmed to read that
the City of Los Angeles has decided to expel us from the environs of the City
of Angels, granting us but one year to prepare for this rough and rude evacuation
forced upon us. We have been cast out from Great Britain. We have come to the “Land
of the Free and the Home of the Brave”, only to find that we are not wanted
here, either. We have been cast out of wealth coastal communities and the
poorest of county regions. Where do you expect us to go, now? We have rights
to, you know. We have many in this country who champion us, who put us to use
when throwing out roots, rubbish, and coffee grounds. Therefore, we refuse to
be become refuse and we seek refuge from the nanny-state liberalism of Los
Angeles, in which city leaders insist on demonizing one segment of the
population instead of discharging the immense public debt, saving city
employees, and reforming pension obligations which threaten the long-term solvency
of the city and the state.
the City of Los Angeles has decided to expel us from the environs of the City
of Angels, granting us but one year to prepare for this rough and rude evacuation
forced upon us. We have been cast out from Great Britain. We have come to the “Land
of the Free and the Home of the Brave”, only to find that we are not wanted
here, either. We have been cast out of wealth coastal communities and the
poorest of county regions. Where do you expect us to go, now? We have rights
to, you know. We have many in this country who champion us, who put us to use
when throwing out roots, rubbish, and coffee grounds. Therefore, we refuse to
be become refuse and we seek refuge from the nanny-state liberalism of Los
Angeles, in which city leaders insist on demonizing one segment of the
population instead of discharging the immense public debt, saving city
employees, and reforming pension obligations which threaten the long-term solvency
of the city and the state.
By this crude, overreaching and senseless act of discrimination,
the LA City Council is forcing plastic bags of all shapes and sizes to endure
one of the most unbearable shocks to their self-esteem and identity. By
eliminating us from the City of Angeles, they will be endangering future
consumers, who will have to resort to reusable sacks, which get dirty and carry
disease, as well as force a greater financial burden on struggling families who
will have to pay a fee to use our thicker cousins, the paper bags – and they
fear that they will be next for city-wide expulsion.
the LA City Council is forcing plastic bags of all shapes and sizes to endure
one of the most unbearable shocks to their self-esteem and identity. By
eliminating us from the City of Angeles, they will be endangering future
consumers, who will have to resort to reusable sacks, which get dirty and carry
disease, as well as force a greater financial burden on struggling families who
will have to pay a fee to use our thicker cousins, the paper bags – and they
fear that they will be next for city-wide expulsion.
This bag ban is a bad idea. We Plastic Bags are the number
one recycled item for many homeowners, the majority of which end up using us again
and again. We have been silent long
enough, we will not take in this trashing of our reputation quietly, and we
WILL BE HEARD!
one recycled item for many homeowners, the majority of which end up using us again
and again. We have been silent long
enough, we will not take in this trashing of our reputation quietly, and we
WILL BE HEARD!
–Redacted and Submitted by Arthur Christopher Schaper