![]("http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6-mOV-MQoes/UvCbnnHqYdI/AAAAAAAAAPI/0U8HJ-_X8kM/s1600/540px-Richard_Simmons_2007-08-15+Del+Far+Permission+of+CC+by.jpg") |
| Richard Simmons for the 33rd! (Source: Del Far, Permission of CC-by) |
Post are foaming at the mouth over who will run for the 33rd Congressional
District to replace Congressman Henry Waxman.
fight to the Santa Monica Bay in 2014. With two key reforms passed four years
ago, open primaries and citizen redistricting, the 33rd
Congressional district was subtly gerrymandered by "the ribbon
of shame" along Dockweiler Beach in 2011 to join the wealthiest (and
whitest) regions of Southern California into one constituency. In 2012,
the new 33rd Congressional
District race pitted Westside liberal Congressman Henry Waxman against a
slate of small time Democrats, a Ron Paul acolyte Republican (Westwood's own
Christopher David), and a Republican-turned-Independent from Manhattan Beach
Bill Bloomfield.
The contentious primary forced Waxman into his first real election fight in
forty years. Opening up a campaign office, hiring phone banks, and publishing
campaign materials for the first time since who knows when, Waxman eked out his
first victory below 60%, a jittery success for a politician so used to breezing
into office for decades. Waxman is now retiring, not because he might lose
his seat (although Obamacare has done more harm than good, even to wealthy
Santa Monica socialites), but more likely knowing that he has no chance of a
chairmanship in the next few years (or decade).
Let the games begin. Who is going to run?
Already, former LA City Controller and number two mayoral candidate Wendy
Greuel has thrown her hat into the ring (of fire). She felt a fire in her belly
to run, so she claims, even though she had no idea that Waxman "the
tireless fighter" would announce his retirement. Right. More likely, that
fire in her stomach comes from all that money and accolades she got from the
Department of Water and Power, the same labor union props which most likely cost
her the mayoral election.
above” liberal in the other: state senator Ted Lieu, whose current state senate
district takes in 80% of the 33rd Congressional seat. Already
prepped for senatorial reelection, Ted announced his federal bid. He's my state
senator, the same guy who tried to triple my car tax, who cares more about
bears than businesses, who has sponsored some of the most outrageous boutique
bills in Sacramento. At least he will be part of the liberal minority in
Washington, where his pet project bills will dog us less.
LA County Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky has not yet announced whether he will run,
but his office is considering it. At least, the press guy says so. What good
will it do for a Supervisor to represent us in Washington, an administrator who
presided over the forced closure of Drew-King, the repeated failures of the LA
County Jail, who resists gun rights? This guy has nothing but enthusiastic
praise for ObamaCare, the same legislation driving our national debt higher,
along with hiking up premiums and pushing doctors out of the medicine. Zev?
In a fluke, Sandra Fluke of "Pay for my reproductive Freedom!" fame
may run for the seat, too. From special interest to just plain special. Oh
brother! Even State Senator Fran Pavley may run. At least she argued that
Sacramento should put the bullet train boondoggle on hold.
campaigns to unseat (kind of) Waxman. Hollywood-Malibu producer Brent Roske
declared first, followed by spiritual author-lecturer Marianne Williamson. Who
can make this stuff up? This cast of clowns, crazies, and political cranks
reminds me of the 2003 recall, if anyone can (or cares to) recall.
But there is another rich, white socialite, with liberal tendencies, a
humanitarian streak, with Jewish roots, who can go to Congress and get everyone
to work things out. He can reach across the aisle, and get both sides to
exercise their powers of persuasion to trim the fat and cut the pork out of
government.
I am thinking of none other than Beverly Hills resident, noted actor, Late
Night talk show guest, and health guru Richard Simmons!
Think this idea is far-fetched? (C’mon, Fluke wants to run!) Someone already asked
him the question on Twitter:
Abby Livingston @RollCallAbby
Beverly Hill retired. Are you gonna run for Congress?
Richard
Simmons
calorie-cutting charisma in Washington. We need a uniter, not a divider, an
outsider who knows how to dance, and who can get those old partisans to sweat
(to the oldies!) He has glamor and flair, and instead of shutting people down
who disagree with them, he can get them to step up and take control of their lives.
He has more Hollywood panache than Roske, better results than Williamson, and
he’s really rich, like GOP-Indie Bloomfield.
(If you’re a Republican, even better!)