I do not like “The Big Lebowski.”

The film is boring, pretentious, irritating. The Coen Brothers swung and missed with this movie. What really puzzles me is that such a strong cult following surrounds this movie, even a neo-religion and wannabe-hip philosphy.

To me, all you’ve got is a hollow movie with a bunch of directionless slackers and weirdos, plus a rich guy who shares the same name as the title character, and therefore the “The Dude” gets into trouble on account of the richer Lebowski.

Someone tell me why this is funny.

And someone please explain to me why we should throw out all conventions of reality to accept this very flimsy premise? Deus Ex Machina, anyone?

Besides, who wants to watch a bunch of self-absorbed jerks bowling, anyway?

Still, I wanted to take a closer look at “The Dude,” played by Jeff Bridges. What is it that just sets me off about this movie?

Famed film critic Gene Siskel rightly criticized that the character was too self-important, and had no heart.

That made me think of Eric Edson’s analysis in The Story Solution on why characters are or are not likeable, and how likeability is an essential aspect to good story-telling.

A main character has to have at least five of the nine traits listed below in order to be likeable:

  1. Courage
  2. Unfair Injury
  3. Skill
  4. Funny
  5. Just Plain Nice
  6. In Danger
  7. Loved By Friends And Family
  8. Hard Working
  9. Obsessed

Reviewing “The Dude” in The Big Lebowski, it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t have a majority of these character traits.

  1. He is not courageous. He doesn’t really stand up for anything or anyone. He just cares about his dirty carpet, and he doesn’t really care how other people may feel about it. One of his sidekicks, the Vietnam Vet played by John Goodman, has courage, since he’s not afraid to bust out his bowling ball to take on some potential kidnappers.
  1. The notion of fairness doesn’t really come into play with The Dude. He just goes through life, doesn’t work, yet somehow manages to survive. He pretty much has everything handed to him, and there is nothing debilitating holding him back. He’s like a rich, spoiled teenager in an adult body, and nothing really impacts him, and the things that do bother him or slight, minimal, or just ridiculous for their insignifance.
  1. He has no skills. He doesn’t accomplish anything. Even his ability, if any, does not stand out when it comes to bowling. You know what? I will give the Dude a point for some skill as a bowler. Let’s give him a break.
  1. Was Jeff Lebowski funny? Sometimes, but it was not consistent. He didn’t really carry the film with any sense or sense of humor. Frankly, he was kind of boring and even a bit irritating. When he engaged in the nomenclature debate with the rich Jeff Lebowski, he states: “You are Mr. Lebowski, and I am The Dude, or his Dudeness, or El Dooderino …” I didn’t think his slacker routine was funny. I also didn’t find it funny that he would freak out and his lose his peace over the stupidest stuff, all while the movie was trying to give the impression that he was a loose and listless slacker.
  1. He was a decent guy, I suppose, but there were enough scenes were he acts like a selfish jerk that I can’t really give His Dudeness any credit on this front.
  1. Yes, he faced danger. He was embroiled in the whole kidnapping scenario, and some goons tried to kill him. But even in the face of imminent danger, he generally has this empty nonchalance about him. And that lack of tension really harms the film. You don’t care about the stuff that’s happening to him, because he doesn’t care, and he sure acts like it doesn’t matter.
  1. He is loved by friends, but he has no family. I will give him a point on this one, since his friends, played by John Goodman and Steve Buscemi, are pretty tight with him.
  1. This guy is the archetype of the Professional Slacker. He brags about being unemployed.
  1. He is obsessed with getting his carpet cleaned. He has a focus on something so unimportant, it is still a focus, so I will give him that.

Tallying up the possible traits in the Dude’s favor, he only scores only three points: skilled, friends, obsessed. That’s it.

The Dude is very Undude. The Big Lebowski is a big bust, in large part because the main character is just undude for all of his Dudeness pretensions.

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