Some kids will never let go of a grudge. They have bad parents, perhaps, or no parents at all. For some kids, the only attention they ever get is from a cop or a probation officer. Trouble is the only way they can tap into some caring.
I have lost my temper, said things that I should never have said. Once, I chewed out an uptight, self-righteous senior, and the principal was passing by with fellow administrators from the other local high schools. I almost sucked my face into my school, but I chose to stand my ground. The principal, shocked into disgust, accosted me "What's going on here?"
"I don't know yet," I fired back. "But I am waiting for this guy to tell me what's going on." I'm glad that I did not back down or sink into shame. I was visibly and understandably upset with this one student. and I refused to let him get away with it just because I wanted to save face in front of an administrator.
Once I called a kid's parents later in the evening. The next day, week, month, the student never ceased to make a stink about it. She had issues, to say the least. Still, people — staff, students, security, seemed more inclined to ask me "What's the matter with you?"
I never put the thought to words. I had issues, I guess, but not for apparent reasons. Of course, I was trying to make the most of difficult, unmanageable situations.
Many students hate it when teachers call home. Sometimes, teachers hate it, too, because we are never sure if we are going to find an ally that we can work with, or another enemy who takes the kid's side instead of trying to work with you.
Amazing but true, some students behave like old crusty bitties, or like the most lethal of church people. They do not forgive. I have to forgive them for that. They have non idea how to forgive, they have gotten used to disappointment and failure.
"What is your problem?!" some students fired off at me. I had no issues, at least none that I could think of. I just expected to be treated with respect, even though the stinging minority of pupils in classrooms were not inclined to give me the time of day.
"You have issues," students have said to me. Who would not '"have issues" working in public schools? You either ignore the rampant culture of corruption and failure, or you run smack-dab against the nonsense every day, squaring off against administrators who want quiescence more than quality.
The whole enterprise is swarming with issues, including the growing number of students who drop out or seek a better education elsewhere.