Unforgiveness — what is it, really?
Something in our flesh, in our minds, will just not let something go. We fear that we will be hurt again, or we think that the people who hurt us are getting away with it, or we fear that whatever we have lost will never come back to us.
In truth, our biggest problem is that we just love ourselves too much. We think so highly of ourselves, castigating ourselves with statements like "How could I let that happen?" or "I should never have let that happen."
The bitterness that we store up within ourselves really indicates that we look to ourselves all too much instead of setting our eyes on what is above, Christ seated at the right hand of God, who is our righteousness, who announces to the Universe that we are forever forgiven, pardoned, and accepted.
This need for retribution is part of being fallen man in a fallen world.
Jesus Christ took the punishment for all sin, and He remains forever the Mercy Seat for the sins of the entire world (1 John 2: 2)
He died not just to forgive all our sins, but to grant us release from the body of death which elicits railings, rivalries, all sorts of other perversions (Galatians 5: 19-21)
Our flesh, both our earthly bodies and fallen minds, will never rest. Even if every enemy is punishment, even if every person who harmed has been harmed in turn, the sense within ourselves remains unsatisfied.
Instead of focusing on what we must do, Paul invites us to rest in all that Christ has done:
"If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ
sitteth on the right hand of God. 2Set your affection
on things above, not on things on the earth. 3For ye are dead,
and your life is hid with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who
is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory." (Colossians 3: 1-4)
We are alive in Christ, not dead in our sins and trespasses. "Set your affections" on things above, Paul advises us, instead of getting bogged down in what happens here on earth. Our life is in Christ, we identify with Him, not with our thoughts and feelings.
What does it mean to "seek those things which are above"? Paul elaborates in Ephesians:
"31Let all
bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away
from you, with all malice: 32And be ye kind one
to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake
hath forgiven you." (Ephesians 4: 31-32)
and then
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4(For the
weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the
pulling down of strong holds;) 5Casting down
imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of
God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" (2 Corinthians 10: 3-5)
"The Obedience of Christ" is His Finished Work at the Cross — that God for Christ's sake has forgiven all our sins (Colossians 2: 13).
Instead of hankering, longing for "self" to be improved, instead of permitting Satan to distract us with thoughts of yesterday, today, and the future, let us focus on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of faith (Hebrews 12: 1-2), in who we find all time and all things filled, fulfilled, and cared for. (Hebrews 13: 8)