Human nature wants to change the world, when taking it easy makes
the difference.
the difference.
Still, people stump for a local politician to win a key
race, or they join a club to carry the banner for a worthy (or worldly) cause.
Men and women seek a means for fixing something, their displeasure with anything
in the world.
race, or they join a club to carry the banner for a worthy (or worldly) cause.
Men and women seek a means for fixing something, their displeasure with anything
in the world.
Most of the time, I believe that this desire to remake what
people see on the outside merely reflects a man’s frustration without what he
sees within. There are a lot of things that we can criticize or despise about
our lives. We don’t make enough money, for example, or our current station in
life is inadequate. If my mother or father had done this or (had not) done
that, then I would have ended up doing something more or less in this life.
people see on the outside merely reflects a man’s frustration without what he
sees within. There are a lot of things that we can criticize or despise about
our lives. We don’t make enough money, for example, or our current station in
life is inadequate. If my mother or father had done this or (had not) done
that, then I would have ended up doing something more or less in this life.
Frankly, much of our dissatisfaction, I am convinced, comes
from a sense of demand following our innate, obsessive need to compare
ourselves with others, a drive in humanity which refuses to rest.
from a sense of demand following our innate, obsessive need to compare
ourselves with others, a drive in humanity which refuses to rest.
Instead of making the most with what we have, we want to
remake what disturbs us in others.
remake what disturbs us in others.
The problems we face often have nothing to do with what we
think needs to be improve, but our inner resistance to letting events follow their
natural course.
think needs to be improve, but our inner resistance to letting events follow their
natural course.
I still tutor once in a while, and one child I worked with,
a first grader, was struggling in class. The teacher complained that he acted
up, talked too much. After some counseling with a site counselor, the parents
put their son on medication to calm him down.
a first grader, was struggling in class. The teacher complained that he acted
up, talked too much. After some counseling with a site counselor, the parents
put their son on medication to calm him down.
After two session with the kid, I noticed that he was
actually quite bright, and he ably completed the teacher’s assignments, plus a
few activities added by me, without too much trouble. When I talked with his
mother, I learned that this first grader was competing with twenty-nine –
twenty-nine! – other students. Five years ago, school districts could afford to
maintain a twenty-to-one teacher student ratio, and even then teaching first
graders was a challenge.
actually quite bright, and he ably completed the teacher’s assignments, plus a
few activities added by me, without too much trouble. When I talked with his
mother, I learned that this first grader was competing with twenty-nine –
twenty-nine! – other students. Five years ago, school districts could afford to
maintain a twenty-to-one teacher student ratio, and even then teaching first
graders was a challenge.
The kid didn’t need medication. He was simply surrounded by
a loud, demanding environment with fewer resources. Besides, the mother was a
nurse, and her two-fold intuition had informed her that there was nothing
clinically wrong with her son.
a loud, demanding environment with fewer resources. Besides, the mother was a
nurse, and her two-fold intuition had informed her that there was nothing
clinically wrong with her son.
She took him off the medication.
The next few sessions, I noticed how she frequently corrected
his spelling, and even pre-empt her son from making mistakes. “Mom”, I told
her. “You have to let him fail, so that he can learn to correct himself.”
his spelling, and even pre-empt her son from making mistakes. “Mom”, I told
her. “You have to let him fail, so that he can learn to correct himself.”
Towards the end of my time with the student, his father
would bring him to our tutoring sessions. While I worked with his son, catching
up on homework and testing him with more challenging material, his father was
quietly reading. Once, when I wanted to show the father his son’s improvement
in coursework, I had to call him twice just to get his attention. Whatever his
son did, the father affirmed his son’s efforts.
would bring him to our tutoring sessions. While I worked with his son, catching
up on homework and testing him with more challenging material, his father was
quietly reading. Once, when I wanted to show the father his son’s improvement
in coursework, I had to call him twice just to get his attention. Whatever his
son did, the father affirmed his son’s efforts.
By the end our time together, the son was reading at a
second-grade level and earning significantly higher grades in his class. I
noticed especially that he did much better when his father was sitting nearby.
second-grade level and earning significantly higher grades in his class. I
noticed especially that he did much better when his father was sitting nearby.
Some would criticize the father as distant or uninvolved, as
compared with the mother. I disagree. Relaxing and letting a child’s learning take
place with force or reproach makes a world of difference. That need for
patience, however, can try our capacity. We tend to forget the conflicts
resolved without fussing or busyness. Learning to let things proceed naturally,
without intense intervention, can produce better results.
compared with the mother. I disagree. Relaxing and letting a child’s learning take
place with force or reproach makes a world of difference. That need for
patience, however, can try our capacity. We tend to forget the conflicts
resolved without fussing or busyness. Learning to let things proceed naturally,
without intense intervention, can produce better results.